By Delicia Hand

         Before I became a mother, I always admired the ability of moms -- of Black and brown boys in particular -- to keep focused and remain calm and positive in the multitude of adverse situations they and their sons encountered.  When I'd hear my sisters, cousins and friends talk about the challenges they faced in the educational system, or hear my older nephews talk about their interactions with law enforcement officials, I would become infuriated to the core. "Never my child," I would say.  Or “These people are going to have to kill me if I ever have a son." I had no idea how these moms, in the face of such adversities, could manage to be constructive and fight calmly for their sons. Now that fight is my fight; their sons are my sons. 

         So, in the Fall of 2014 -- just a few months after Michael Brown was killed in Ferguson, Missouri -- when the country was still brimming with debate and heated tensions, and merely days after Tamir Rice was gunned down in his neighborhood park -- I learned that I was expecting a child. A few months later, scans confirmed I was having a boy; instead of joy, I felt fear, anxiety, and disappointment. On one hand, I was grateful to be able to carry a successful pregnancy to term. On the other hand, I realized that I would now bring into the world someone whom I would love with my entire being but still be incapable of shielding from the world and how he might be perceived. Before he even came into the world, race mattered. I feared for his life and felt powerless. This is how my journey into motherhood began. 

         When my son Lucian was born, as instance after instance of continued police violence against Black men and boys continued to fill the headlines and social media, I was overcome with rage and heartache. This was the world I had brought my child into.  Something had to change; I wracked my brain. I'd spent my career in policy and politics; so activism and engagement on an issue wasn't new.  I'm an attorney; I'd worked on Capitol Hill, I'd testified before Congress on policy issues, I've represented consumers on complex issues; but felt powerless to help my own child. Where law school and my career had taught me the skill of dispassionate engagement, there was no way to be dispassionate about my son. I had never had so deep a personal connection to something that it was simultaneously paralyzing as it was motivating. Although I knew how to address the issues I was observing, none of the groups and communities of which I was a part addressed the unique emotional distress and burden of raising a Black son, nor did they provide tools and resources to equip mothers to improve the policies affecting their sons. I joined local moms groups and Mocha Moms hoping to find support among other moms, particularly moms of color and moms of Black sons. But, there was no space for these issues. 

         Like an answer to a prayer, at the end of the same week of Alton Sterling's and Philando Castile's deaths, a friend added me to the Moms of Black Boys United, Inc. (MOBBU) Facebook group. It was a relief to be amongst -- albeit virtually -- other mothers to whom I felt connected instantly. They would understand my fears and anxiety, but they also would understand the urgency of this current and every future moment. I plugged in immediately; I joined calls. And when the group began to form issue committees, I joined the Policy Committee and Organizational Development committee. I didn't really care in what capacity I joined. I wanted to be a part of the conversation, and I wanted to use my skills to help in anyway possible. Suddenly, the appreciation that this journey wasn't just about my son, but all of our sons, was empowering and motivating. 

         I'm currently chair of our Policy Committee, which primarily drives advocacy initiatives for our sister organization, MOBB United for Social Change. As a committee, we research policies that impact Black men and boys, identify opportunities to advocate on behalf of our sons, and guide MOBB United's responses to and approach in instances where Black men and boys have been victims of unjustified force and violence by police. 

         In the 9 months since the organization’s founding, the Policy committee has helped to:    

               - Facilitate MOBB United's participation in the Congressional Black Caucus's (CBC) Annual Legislative Conference.

               - Drive a down ballot voter education campaign.

               - Encourage MOBB United moms’ participation in state advocacy initiatives.

               - Administered several calls to action, encouraging moms to reach out to local, state, and federal elected officials.

               - Meet with state and federal legislators to advocate for better policies for our sons.

         We've only just begun. This year, we are focused on developing relationships with key Congressional and State legislators, forging partnerships with organizations that share similar goals and missions. We need you and your energy for the fight!

         If you have a background in law or policy, join the committee! If you have passion and energy to seek out policy solutions and be an advocate for your son, join us! We have a few subcommittees that drive our work. Our Policy Updates subcommittee drives our research, so we always are aware of latest developments. Our Policy Message subcommittee ensures that we develop the most compelling, data-driven arguments and messaging to drive our advocacy efforts. Finally, our Policy Strategy subcommittee ensures that we create and leverage the right opportunities to impact policies and successful advocate for our sons.

         We meet every other week at 10 PM EST. For more information contact: [email protected].

           *Congratulations to Delicia Hand, who delivered her second son, Theodore Nigel Hand, on June 13, 2017.*

By Pamela Wood-Garcia

          As Moms of Black boys and men, we all know that our sons experience a plethora of injustices. The greatest of these injustices is untimely, unwarranted deaths at the hands of law enforcement. These incidents have taken place for hundreds of years with little to no accountability. In the last several years, there has been a heightened awareness of these incidents because social media has served as a periscope to the black community, giving us much clearer insight as to how the judicial system allows police officers literally to get away with murder. By now, we all have witnessed the cold-blooded killing of Black men and boys caught on the camera phones of bystanders and uploaded to social media. Even a few murders have been streamed live on Facebook while the world watched.

           Question: Are we protecting them “loud” enough?

           During President Barack Obama’s administration, there was a constant influx of information about these unjustified murders circulating on social and mainstream media. The information was so moving that it served as the catalyst for Moms of Black Boys United, Inc. (MOBB United) to be formed. But suddenly, it seems as if the attention to our sons’ plight is being overshadowed by other headlines. News stories abound now of attacks on immigrants and the torching of synagogues and mosques. What? No word on the brother who was murdered by police last month in Tennessee? He streamed his own murder live on Facebook! No word on the three 15-year-old Black boys murdered in Texas, Connecticut, and California by cops? The media gave a vague overview of each incident and chucked them. It is as if we are expected to move about like the murders of Black boys and men have magically disappeared. Yeah, right…not in America and certainly not during the current presidential administration.

           President Donald Trump’s campaign promised to build a ”tremendous wall” to keep Mexican immigrants -- to whom he referred as rapists, drug dealers, and thieves -- out of the United States. He also swore to place a ban on Muslim refugees to keep them from entering the country so acts of terrorism could not be committed on American soil. He topped off all of his campaign promises with anti-semitic remarks and appointees. Since Trump was elected, there has been an increase in hate crimes towards these groups of people. These incidents deserve the ample attention they are getting in the media, but there once was the same kind of media spotlight on law enforcement murdering Black boys and men. Where did that push go? The world still needs to be informed when an innocent man is demonized and executed for his Blackness. We, as a people, still need to be seen and heard on these issues. This blog is not being written to downplay the social injustices that happen in non-Black communities but to let people know that the killings of Black boys and men are still taking place! MOBB United is stepping up -- more than 175k moms strong -- to carry out this mission.

           MOBB United was formed as a light in the midst of the darkness surrounding the slayings of Philando Castille and Alton Sterling. They both were killed by law enforcement within 24 hours of one another during what should have been routine stops. Neither man was brandishing a weapon nor using any kind of derogatory or threatening language. Neither man resisted any of the police officers’ commands. Philando’s four-year-old daughter and girlfriend witnessed his murder in a car while Alton’s community watched his murder in front of a store. The harshest reality of the deaths of these men is that there may never be any justice served for either of them. Philando’s killer was acquitted of all charges on June 16, 2017. Only God knows what will happen in Alton’s case. Most likely, more of the same blatant injustice.The cases would have been tried with convictions if the tables were turned. If a cop was shot in his chest at point blank range by two Black men holding him down on the ground, the two Black men would be dead or in prison awaiting execution. If a Black man had shot a white cop through a car window in front of his four-year-old child and girlfriend, he would have been hunted down and killed or put in prison for the rest of his life. No one would be considering their actions self-defense.  

           Alton and Philando were loving human beings executed like rabid animals. Alton’s execution was caught on camera and uploaded to the internet while Philando’s was streamed live by his girlfriend. The next day, MOBB United’s founder, Depelsha McGruder, started a Facebook group called Moms Of Black Boys. Her first post read, “I am starting this group because I don’t know what else to do.”  She added 30 other moms of Black boys. Those moms could relate to her raw emotion and they added other moms with Black sons whom they knew would relate to  Depelsha’s post. Out of this, MOBB United was formed. Since its founding, there have been at least 20 more Black men and boys killed during interactions with police officers, but the media has largely turned its attention elsewhere, towards the hatred we are seeing directed at other groups. However, there is a profound difference between hate crimes committed by HATE groups and what amounts to hate crimes committed by law enforcement. Police officers have taken an oath to protect and serve every citizen in their jurisdiction. They represent the law, the state. Yet they murder Black men and boys for flinching during routine traffic stops? They murder people with mental illnesses who are in distress? They murder our sons because they know it is a crime that almost anybody with a gun and a badge can commit without consequence. What can be done to put an end to these senseless crimes? MOBB United is on the right track.

           MOBB United’s mission is fundamental to the goal of protecting our sons and eradicating these killings: to provide information and support for moms of Black sons and promote positive images of Black boys and men; to influence policy impacting how Black boys and men are treated and perceived by law enforcement and society.  MOBB United stands on five pillars that are to change the perception that the world has of Black men and boys; influence legislative policy; demonstrate collective political, and economic power within the communities that we serve; strategically partner with organizations that can assist MOBB United in carrying out its mission; and to promote self-care for moms of boys and their families. This begins and ends at home with moms.

           As moms, it is our responsibility to make sure our sons understand how the world sees them. Perception is nine-tenths of a person’s reality. Research shows that 10-year-old Black boys are perceived as a threat to the rest of society and many people fear them. Our sons need to be made aware of this. This is not to stifle who they are but to raise their awareness as we parent to create good character, healthy self-images, and healthy interactions. Knowledge of self is imperative to creating these qualities. This means teaching them that there is greatness in African-American history and culture. This also means teaching them that they are a reflection of that history and culture, and they can achieve anything to which they put their minds. As MOBB United travails to change the perception that the world has of our beautiful sons, MOBB United for Social Change is calling, writing, and meeting with local, state, and federal officials in droves to influence change in legislative policy and to ensure that once change has occurred, it is enforced to the fullest extent of the law. Demonstrating our collective economic and political power, changing perception of our men and boys, and influencing policy and legislation won’t bring back any of our beloved Black men or boys, but it will save lives in the future. It will make a police officer think twice before he or she decides to use lethal force or even racially profile a Black male. It will let moms of Black boys and men all over the world know that somebody is standing in the trenches working, fighting, and praying for them.

           MOBB United’s action pays homage to the memory of the fallen. It lets the world know that victims, including Trayvon Martin, Freddie Gray, Tamir Rice, Eric Garner, Mario Woods, Newman Demarco, Alfred Olango, Jason King, Levonia Riggins, Reginald Thomas Jr., Terrance Coleman, George Meyers, Philando Castille, Alton Sterling, Jayson Negron, Darius Smith, Jordan Edwards, Terence Crutcher, Alfred Olango, as well as so many others like them nationwide and even worldwide, were important human beings whose lives had great value. Their lives and deaths sparked the mother of all movements. MOBB United is here to defend, protect, and advocate for our Black boys and men. We are here to fight; we are here to win; we here for our sons.

          Let's protect them LOUDER.

Policy and Advocacy Committee Progress
Posted by Beth Lunde · February 04, 2024 9:22 AM

Get Up, Get Out, and Cast Your Ballot
Posted by Beth Lunde · November 02, 2020 8:55 AM

MOBB United for Social Change Call Center Update
Posted by Beth Lunde · December 31, 2019 8:44 AM

By Depelsha McGruder

Since the last edition of The Messenger, two more Black males have been in the news for being killed by police. 22-year-old Stephon Clark of Sacramento, CA was gunned down in his family's backyard while holding a cell phone. Officers fired 20 rounds, with 8 bullets piercing through Clark’s body. 34-year-old Saheed Vassell, a Jamaican immigrant living in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, was gunned down by NYPD because he was wielding a metal pipe. He was a welder and suffered from mental illness. These cases and many others like them serve as a constant reminder of how precarious life is for a Black man trying to survive in America. You’d think no place would be safer than the yard of your grandmother’s home, yet Stephon Clark couldn’t even find safety there. Another case that stopped me in my tracks was the April 12th case of a teenager in Rochester Hills, MI, who missed his bus, got lost trying to walk to school, and asked for directions. Instead of offering this 14-year-old young man (who was clearly determined to get to school to get an education) some help and guidance, neighbors immediately became afraid at the mere sight of him at their front door and shot at him instead. The boy only survived because the overanxious shooter forgot to take the safety off of the gun. (But yet we’re just being paranoid, right?)

With incidents like this, it is very difficult to know how to effectively prepare our sons for a world that is clearly hostile toward and afraid of their very existence. If your son is walking down the street, should you advise him to carry absolutely nothing in his hands for fear of any object (i.e., cell phone, wallet, pipe) being mistaken for a gun, thereby legally justifying his instant assassination? If our sons get lost, should they not ask anyone for help for fear of being considered a suspect vs. a child in need of adult concern and assistance?

Every day, the matrix of how to survive as a Black male in America becomes more complex and unclear. This is why MOBB United is dedicated to changing negative perceptions of Black males and to pushing for changes in policies that justify our sons being unfairly targeted and killed.

We invite you to join us in the struggle by becoming a member and/or volunteering today. This clearly is not a problem that will be solved overnight, but it is OUR responsibility to persist nevertheless—until our sons can walk down the street without constantly having to look over their shoulders and be expected to apologize for their presence.

By Depelsha McGruder

     This month, I have been heavily reminded of the reason MOBB United exists. As you probably know, the organization started following multiple police killings of unarmed Black boys and men that were unjustified, but were not punished under the law. Although our mission started in response to police brutality and unwarranted use of deadly force by law enforcement, it doesn’t end there. This is because police brutality that leads to death usually happens at the end of a very long process of constant harassment of Black men and boys throughout their lifetimes. When Eric Garner was choked to death by NYPD officer Daniel Pantaleo for selling loose cigarettes, he had been arrested twice already that year. When Philando Castile was pulled over, allegedly for a broken taillight, and fatally killed while reaching for his license and registration, he had already been pulled over 49 times in 13 years.

     Black males endure a life filled with misperceptions and harassment that begins before they even reach puberty. The suspicion they face doesn’t just come from law enforcement officers. Misperceptions of Black boys and men also abound with teachers, store clerks, and neighbors, who often assume on sight that they’re likely to be up to no good. Just this week, a friend’s teenage son wrote a column (that you will see featured among our stories this month) after a White adult female neighbor racially profiled him and alerted neighbors online of his presence in his own neighborhood. He was simply sitting down and talking with a friend outside her house. I’ve heard this same story dozens of times. Trayvon Martin died senselessly because of overzealous “neighborhood watch.”

     Our boys’ skin and bodies are weaponized at a very early age. And yes, I said our boys. Because though there absolutely are challenges that other populations, including Black girls, face that are very worthy of consideration, support and advocacy, the Black (and brown) male experience of navigating life in America is unique. One of the things I often do in MOBB United meetings when speaking to new potential members is ask the women in the room to raise their hands if they have ever been harassed or targeted by a police officer. Very few, if any, hands go up. But when I ask whether any Black male in their family—son, father, brother, uncle, nephew—have been harassed, brutalized or unfairly targeted by police, inevitably, every hand is raised.

     Needless to say, we believe in justice and equality for all people, and I know the value and power of intersectionality, which is recognizing that all of our struggles are overlapping and ultimately connected. That is why we enthusiastically support and join together with other organizations who are fighting for justice for all or for other specific disenfranchised groups. But when someone responds to a Black male’s experience by reminding them of all of the other people who have been harassed and killed TOO (without regard for the difference in their daily experience), it is the equivalent of saying “All Lives Matter” to the Black Lives Matter movement. Of course, Black boys and men are not the only people to be harassed and killed, but statistics show that they are most likely, in fact three times more likely to be killed by a police officer than anyone else. Unlike others, they are often deemed guilty and dangerous on sight, often without the benefit of conversation or negotiation, before their lives are changed or snuffed out forever.

     This is why Moms of Black Boys United, Inc. and MOBB United for Social Change, Inc. exist. Our sons are worthy of having someone fighting for them. We seek to be a comprehensive resource and voice for moms of Black boys and men. We are striving to be experts in the Black male experience, which is fraught with people second guessing them, expecting less of them, and viewing them as superhuman yet not human at all at the same time. We are particularly focused on all of the factors that lead to Black boys being funneled into the school-to-prison pipeline. We are equipping moms and sons with resources to help them navigate systems—education, criminal justice, and mental health—so that they will be prepared to advocate successfully in any situation. We are advocating for policy change—at the local, state, and federal levels—so that after we’ve done all that we can to ensure our sons’ success, we know that they have a safety net of justice and accountability. If we are successful, the gains we make on behalf of our sons, who are often the #1 target for discrimination and brutality, will ultimately benefit all disenfranchised groups.

     Clearly, we have a long way to go. But I urge you to join us in the struggle by becoming a member or donor of MOBB United. Thanks to everyone who supported us in any way during our first year. More to come!

     #Forward!

     Depelsha

      
       If you’ve been following our organization for a while, you already know that there are two sides to MOBB United’s mission and approach. MOBB United for Social Change, Inc. (MUSC) is our membership organization, which is dedicated to advocating for policy change at the local, state and federal level. Through MUSC, we articulate a united agenda to push public officials and systems to pass legislation and implement changes that improve the lives of Black boys and men.

       This month’s newsletter is dedicated to our sister organization, Moms of Black Boys United, Inc., a 501c3. I describe Moms of Black Boys United as the “doing our part” organization. While pushing the system to change through MUSC, we must also make sure we are doing all that we can to prepare our sons adequately for the challenges they will face and the opportunities that will become available to them.

       Moms of Black Boys United, Inc. aims to be a comprehensive resource for moms of Black sons. Our vision is to become a “one stop shop” for moms, by equipping them with access to information and resources that enable them to advocate most effectively for their sons in all kinds of situations. Currently, we are focused on helping moms navigate the education, criminal justice and mental health systems. Our goal is to help prevent our sons from falling into many of the pitfalls and traps that are set for Black males. And when tragedy strikes, we want to have the resources to be there in tangible ways for moms and sons in need.

       For those of you who’ve joined our Saturday calls, you know that we have regular speakers on all kinds of topics that are relevant for moms and sons – from Know Your Rights and How to Interact with Law Enforcement to Preventing Bullying and the School to Prison Pipeline. Over the next year, we want to expand from virtual seminars to in-person forums and discussions in cities all over the country to amplify our message and include community stakeholders in developing solutions. In addition, we want to continue to reverse negative perceptions of our sons by telling our stories in a variety of mediums.

       The good news is we have the talent within MOBB United to accomplish all of this and more. What we don’t have is the financial resources. To date, our organization has been completely self-funded; but to grow and expand, we need your help. Please consider donating to Moms of Black Boys United, Inc. this month at mobbunited.org/donate. I hope you will take the time to read this month’s issue to learn more about Moms of Black Boys United’s efforts and how you can help.

       In service and solidarity,

       Depelsha

By Depelsha McGruder

     Our sons are heading back to school, and heavy on my mind is what they may encounter when walking or driving home from school. In this age of “law and order,” it is our responsibility to make sure they are well aware and prepared for what the current climate may bring. If those who have vowed to protect and serve all citizens were to listen to our nation's leader, law enforcement officers have carte blanche to act as judge and jury on the streets, before someone is convicted of a crime. As a mom, the thought any of our sons becoming a victim of mistaken identity based on “fitting the description” of a suspect, then being roughed up by police with a direct endorsement from the President is a very scary proposition.

    On July 28, President Donald Trump addressed an audience of law enforcement officers in Suffolk County, NY. I responded with this open letter on behalf of MOBB United for Social Change (MUSC). I’m still waiting to hear back from him.

By Depelsha McGruder

     Except it’s not irrational when you consider that one year later, the cases that initially triggered my MOBB=disorder symptoms—the graphic police killings of Alton Sterling in Baton Rouge, La., and Philando Castile in St. Anthony, Minn.—both ended with no one being held accountable for their deaths. The Justice Department declined to charge Blane Salamoni, the officer who killed Sterling, and a jury found Jeronimo Yanez, the officer who killed Castile with his girlfriend and her 4-year-old daughter in the car, not guilty of any criminal wrongdoing.

     In addition, since last year, the list of unarmed black males killed in deadly encounters with law enforcement has grown. Terence Crutcher, Paul O’Neal, Kajuan Raye, Tyre King, Alfred Olango, Reginald Thomas and, most recently, three unarmed 15-year-olds—Jordan Edwards, Jayson Negron and Darius Smith—have all been killed since last July.

     And it’s not just the cases that lead to death that trigger our fear and worry. Black males face daily misperceptions and harassment, which increases the likelihood of them one day having an unwarranted deadly encounter.

     Just ask Michael McGill, a high-level professional who was traveling internationally for work when he was suddenly stopped outside the Kansas City, Mo., airport by an officer and told to freeze and put his hands against the wall. Or the five innocent, unarmed 12- to 14-year-olds in Grand Rapids, Mich., who, while walking home from playing basketball in their neighborhood, were unexpectedly stopped and held at gunpoint for more than 10 minutes because police officers believed that they “fit the description” of suspects. Or Charles Kinsey, a therapist for an autistic patient in North Miami, Fla., who, while trying to help his patient, was assumed to be a suspect and shot by police instead. Or the multiple black men who have called police to report a robbery or threat to their home, only to be shot themselves once police arrived. Although they all made it out alive, the trauma from those experiences will live with them and their families indefinitely.

     Yet in the backdrop of all of this ugliness and collective stress, I’ve had one of the most amazing and unexpected experiences of my life. To try to deal with the trauma from seeing graphic images of brutality and death repeatedly, one year ago today (July 7, 2016), I started a Facebook group for moms of black boys and men—initially sending it to about 30 friends—that grew to more than 21,000 moms from all around the country the same day. I really had no idea what would happen after that.

     I could not have imagined then that one year later, the group would have grown to more than 177,000 moms from around the country and world, and evolved into two nonprofit organizations that are completely fueled and run by volunteers made up of the dynamic women I met on Facebook last summer.

     Moms of Black Boys United Inc. provides vital information and support to moms of black sons and promotes positive images of black boys and men. MOBB United for Social Change, Inc., our advocacy arm, aims to influence policy that impacts how black boys and men are treated and perceived by law enforcement and in society as whole. We’ve developed a multi-pronged approach that includes influencing policy, changing perception, demonstrating our political and economic power, promoting self-care, and partnering strategically with other organizations who are working to solve these problems for black males as well as for others who face similar injustices.

     MOBB United has mobilized and empowered moms of black sons all around the country and world to stand up and take action. We’ve hosted virtual seminars with experts on topics like “Know Your Rights” and “How to Interact With Law Enforcement” to “Recognizing and Preventing Bullying” and “Discussing Racial Tensions in Schools.” We’ve provided support in various forms to moms who’ve since lost their sons in deadly encounters with law enforcement. We’ve lobbied for policy change at state capitols, in commission meetings and via phone, letter-writing, email and social media campaigns. These moms are fired up and committed to doing all we can to protect our sons. We don’t want anyone else to experience the pain and devastation that the women known as the “Mothers of the Movement” have experienced.

     We don’t call ourselves activists. We are advocates for our sons who are simply doing what every parent is supposed to do: nurture and protect our children. But when you’re a mom of a black boy, that requires you to know and do some extra stuff.

     It requires you to know that black boys are more likely to be disciplined in schools for the same behaviors that other children display but are not punished for. It requires you to know that they are less likely to be referred to gifted and talented programs, even when they meet the criteria, and are more likely to be referred to special education. It requires you to know that there is a prison bed on hold for them if they don’t know how to read by the third grade. It requires you to know that there is a trap set for them called the school-to-prison pipeline that is highly profitable, and that states often sign contracts with private prisons that guarantee 90 percent occupancy. It requires you to know that black males are three times more likely to be killed by police than other citizens.

     MOBB United is equipping moms with information that empowers them to be better advocates for their sons in all the institutions that interact with and influence them. You see, the problem is that our sons always “fit the description” and are assumed to be the aggressor. They are viewed and treated like wild, irrational animals. Not a person with hopes and dreams. Not someone who loves others and is loved. Not someone’s father, husband, brother, uncle or nephew. Not someone’s beloved son.

     MOBB United aims to change this perception. We are committed to doing all we can to raise our sons to be respectful, kind, productive and, when appropriate, yes, compliant. We are committed to providing them access to a wide variety of educational experiences and enrichment opportunities to give them the best-possible chance at success in life. We are committed to building strong families and creating support systems. We are committed to being engaged parents in our sons’ schools, and involved citizens in our communities and local, state and federal governments.

     But when we do all of that, we need assurance that the system works for us, too. We need to have confidence that our sons will be treated equally under the law. We demand accountability on the other side. And when rogue or unqualified officers unjustly kill one of our sons, we need to see a conviction, not excuses about how the officers “feared for their lives” from someone who posed no obvious threat. We want all of our sons and all law-enforcement officers to make it home safely every night.

     Our work is clearly a marathon, not a sprint. But these women have helped me to move from fear to fortitude. Now, instead of being balled up in a knot in tears on my bed, I stand in a global circle of moms who I know understand my perspective, have my back and are committed to working together to find solutions. We will not give up. We will not accept this as normal and just the way it is. And united, we will change the narrative and ensure that our sons survive, thrive and build strong legacies.

The Root aims to foster and advance conversations about issues relevant to the black Diaspora by presenting a variety of opinions from all perspectives, whether or not those opinions are shared by our editorial staff. (Re-posted from The Root's publication)

Depelsha McGruder is a happily married mom of two boys and an entertainment executive living in Brooklyn, N.Y. She is a graduate of Howard University and Harvard Business School. 

By Depelsha McGruder

          Welcome to the first newsletter of Moms of Black Boys United, Inc. (MOBB United)! If you are new to the organization, we are thrilled to have you here. If you have been with us since our beginning on Facebook last summer, thank you for continuing with us on this journey. In case you’re not familiar with our history, MOBB United started as a Facebook group on July 7, 2016, immediately following multiple deaths of Black men at the hands of law enforcement. In particular, Alton Sterling was killed in Baton Rouge, Louisiana on July 5 while selling CDs outside of a convenience store, and Philando Castile was killed in St. Anthony, Minnesota on July 6, 2016 following a “routine” traffic stop, with his girlfriend and 4-year-old daughter in the car. We all experienced the graphic images of their brutal deaths on the news and in the case of Mr. Castile, who was a beloved Montessori school cafeteria worker, on Facebook Live. The frustration, fear, anger and anxiety we all felt then is what initially brought us  together. What has kept us together is an unrelenting desire and determination to prevent our own sons and anyone else’s sons from reaching that same fate.

          Since the founding of MOBB United, we have continued to grow and evolve organizationally. MOBB United now also includes an advocacy arm, MOBB United for Social Change, Inc. whose primary purpose is to influence policy impacting how Black boys and men are treated and perceived by law enforcement and society.

          Over the past year, we have have been strategizing, organizing and activating all across the country. Both organizations have been busy! Here are a few of the things we’ve executed:

          Moms of Black Boys United, Inc.:

-  Attended funerals and provided support for those lost to excessive use of force. A delegation from Texas traveled to Tulsa, OK for Terrence Crutcher’s funeral and presented his wife with a gift. A delegation from California traveled to San Diego to support the family of Alfred Olango and in Los Angeles, provided tangible support to the family of Reginald Thomas, Jr. Our team also created the funeral program for 15-year-old Darius Smith, killed by an off-duty US Customs Officer in Arcadia, CA, in a gesture of MOBB outreach. MOBB United for Social Change urged the City of Balch Springs to push forward on urgently needed police reforms in response to the unjust killing of Jordan Edwards.

-  Launched multiple image campaigns, including the #ProtectThem campaign to bring more awareness to our cause and promote positive images of Black boys and men, and the #MomsontheFrontLine campaign to pay homage to mom activists who came before us.

-  Hosted meetings or events in more than 20 cities

 -  Partnered with Points of Light (POL) to execute a nationwide Mother/Son Volunteer Day of Service on MLK Day to teach our sons the importance of service and let the world see them in positive action (POL volunteer site)

-  Provided personal support and connections to members in need, including connecting a mom with an attorney for critically needed legal help, helping moms navigate school disciplinary actions, and providing “MOBB Aunties Away from Home” for sons away for college.

-  Hosted virtual seminars on topics including Know Your Rights (in partnership with the Legal Aid Society and National Association for Public Defense), Bullying, the 13th Documentary, Dealing with Trauma, isow.com (financial literacy and planning for children), the Legal Equalizer app, Discussing Racial Tensions in Schools, The School to Prison Pipeline, the Criminal Justice System from both sides of the cell (Booker Geez: “Locked Up and Put Away”), How to Handle Interactions with Law Enforcement (with Retired LAPD Sgt. Cheryl Dorsey, author Sonya Whittaker Gragg and parents of the “Michigan 5”) and a special Father’s Day Weekend discussion on the criminal justice system and current cases with Civil Rights Attorney Lee Merritt.

          MOBB United for Social Change, Inc.:

-  Rallied around multiple policy change actions, such as a de-escalation bill introduced in Congress last year (HR 5221), Raise the Age in NY, and The Sandra Bland Act in TX.

-  Partnered with Louisianans for Prison Alternatives (LPA) to advocate for a criminal justice reform package to overhaul Louisiana's draconian criminal justice laws.

-  Traveled to let our voices be heard all over the country – at the Democratic National Convention (DNC) in Philadelphia, Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) Conference in DC and in meetings with state legislators in Georgia, Louisiana, New York and California.

-  Organized a voter education campaign to encourage members to learn who is on their ballot and to vote in their elections.

-  Petitioned (via petitions, letters to officials, emails and calls) to hold law enforcement accountable in the cases of Alton Sterling, Philando Castile, Terrence Crutcher, Tyre King, Kajuan Raye, Paul O’Neal, Jordan Edwards, Darius Smith and Jayson Negron.

          Although we’ve accomplished a lot, we’re really just getting started. The Leadership Team of MOBB United has spent the last few months refining our goals, strategies and initiatives and we are very excited about our plans for the next year.

          We are grateful for your support and look forward to partnering with you to make a difference in the lives of our sons and the lives of Black boys and men everywhere. Thank you for believing. United, we WILL prevail!

          With sincere gratitude and hope for the future,

          Depelsha

Last week, many of you participated in our virtual vision board party hosted by guru Lucinda Cross-Otiti. She taught us how to represent our goals and dreams for ourselves and our sons visually and in living color. By doing so, we are guaranteed to manifest amazing things in our lives. Saturday, January 14 is National Vision Board Day. We encourage you to share your vision boards with the group, even if they are still works in progress! We look forward to seeing your dreams come true over the next year. Lucinda encouraged us to set BOLD goals. My bold goal is to take MOBB United to the next level and for us to truly have an impact as a group of highly informed, engaged, motivated and powerful moms. Thank you for joining me on this exciting journey! xoxo, Depelsha

Saturday, January 7, 2017 at 9:30am EDT, join us for Mommy & Son Vision Board Party!

Make your own Vision Board with our own member & expert seen in Essence and on the Today Show, Lucinda Cross-Otiti!

All of December, our MOBB United Special Needs Moms will prepare for next year with their SUNs by creating and sharing their Vision Boards. Look for their posts that will help you gather materials & get ready for the session with the hashtag #MOBBUVision.

TAG and TELL a FRIEND

On Thanksgiving Day, while most of us enjoyed special time with friends and family, KaJuan Raye's mother was finding out that her 19-year-old son had been killed by police. He was on the way home and mistaken for a suspect. He was shot in the back while running away. The police officer said KaJuan pointed a gun at him, but more than a week later, no gun has been found. This case has not received a lot of media attention, but as Moms of Black Boys, we cannot remain silent when another mother's son is gunned down like an animal. We should not wait for the video and outrage. We must speak up and demand justice for this young man now. The police officer has been stripped of his police duties, but is on paid administrative leave. He should be charged immediately, and an independent investigation should be conducted by the Justice Department. Please join us in demanding justice for KaJuan by signing our petition and spreading the word. Let's bring more awareness to this case!

https://campaigns.organizefor.org/petitions/moms-of-black-boys-united-seeks-justice-for-kajuan-raye-chicago-il

I just finished viewing the documentary “13th” on Netflix that was produced by the uber talented Ava Duvernay. Wow. I am left speechless at how well it describes the history of African-Americans’ ongoing relationship with being enslaved (both legally and illegally) in the United States. Specifically, 13th outlines the provisions and loopholes in the 13th amendment. It takes a look at the prison industrial complex and how the war on drugs, privatization of prisons and the need for profit have driven policies that have led to filling prisons at any cost. Most often, the cost is paid by young Black men. Our sons.

This documentary is a must see in that it frames and helps to aid greater awareness and understanding of the tall challenge of the work that we have to do. That’s why M.O.B.B. United is hosting a virtual viewing party. We encourage everyone to watch this important film. We will host a discussion on it very soon, so stay tuned for more information.

I tried to stay in a cocoon for almost 24 hours trying to protect my mind and heart from news of yet another unarmed Black man being killed by Tulsa police. It took me a looong time to get up enough courage to watch the video. Terence Crutcher (40) had the misfortune of having car trouble on his way home from class and needing aid. But instead of receiving aid, he got a bullet from female police officer Betty Shelby, allegedly for “not complying” to any commands, though we have now all seen video of Terence walking to his car with his hands up. By the way, since when is “not complying to officer commands” an offense punishable by death? It’s not. Unless it’s one of our husbands, fathers, uncles, nephews or SONS. Yes, Terence Crutcher was someone’s son. And husband. And father. And student. And choir member. Yet, none of this mattered to Betty Shelby. I just have one question (well, maybe a few). Does Betty have a son? Has she ever loved and wanted to protect someone so much that it hurts? Has she ever feared for her life, from someone who’s taken an oath to protect her? Has she ever spent sleepless nights hoping and praying her son would make it home, without having unexpected car trouble and encountering some trigger-happy officer?

Sadly, this is a regular day on the job for us MOBBs. And it’s STRESSFUL. And SCARY. And anxiety-inducing. That’s why we need each other. And it’s why we need to DO SOMETHING to stop these unjustified killings of our sons. Since we started mourning Terence’s death, another Black man, Keith Lamont Scott (43), was killed by police in Charlotte. And this follows the killing of 13 year old Tyree King in Columbus, OH just last week. It’s too much to take. That’s why we’re supporting HR 5221, a bill to require deescalation training and implementation. That’s why we need you to sign this petition right NOW to stand up for Terence. Sign the petition to honor his mother. Sign this petition to offer some measure of comfort to his twin sister. Share this petition to build up his four children. They’re counting on us. And our sons are too. #MOBBUnited

https://campaigns.organizefor.org/petitions/mobb-united-for-terence-crutcher-tulsa-ok

After a membership poll, M.O.B.B. United has selected mandatory de-escalation training for police officers as our first Policy priority. To that end, we are pushing Congressional representatives to support Federal Bill HR 5221, the Preventing Tragedies Between Police and Communities Act of 2016, which was introduced by Congresswoman Gwen Moore (D-WI) and referred to committee on May 12th, 2016.

Highlights of the bill, which would take effect one year after the date of the act, are as follows:

• Requires the Attorney General to collect data on fund recipients’ efforts to enhance de-escalation training.
• Requires those enrolled in an academy of a law enforcement agency and law enforcement officers of the state or unit of local government to be trained in de-escalation, including:

1. Alternative methods of applying force and preventing escalation of a situation.
2. Verbal and physical tactics to minimize the need for the use of force: communication, negotiation, and de-escalation techniques.
3. Crisis intervention strategies to appropriately identify and respond to individuals suffering from mental health or substance abuse issues.
4. Evidence-based practices such as the Critical Decision-Making Model.
5. Training with an emphasis on theories of de-escalation.

Please join us in support of this bill by contacting your Congressional representative to express your concern for our sons!

Here’s a letter that MOBB United members sent to Mayor Jerry Faust and Police Chief Jon Mangseth of St. Anthony, Minnesota following the decision to reinstate the officer who killed Philando Castile on July 6, 2016 to duty on the police force. This killing, along with the death of Alton Sterling in Baton Rouge the day before along with numerous other previous unjustified killings of Black males by law enforcement, inspired the creation of MOBB United.

We were thrilled when the decision to reinstate Officer Jeronimo Yanez was reversed. He will remain off duty until the investigation is complete. We believe this demonstrates how local community advocacy combined with national pressure can lead to change. We will continue to follow this case and look for opportunities to partner with other local communities to effect change in their areas. We will post opportunities for you to join us in this mission here on the site. As moms of Black sons, we live in constant fear that an unfortunate police encounter could lead to our sons not returning back home alive. This is not acceptable, and as moms, we can no longer be silent on this issue. We want to partner with other concerned citizens, law enforcement agencies, community organizations and elected officials to change this. Please join us on this journey to make the world a better and safer place for our sons!

August 24, 2016

Mayor Jerry Faust
St. Anthony Minnesota

Moms of Black Boys United (MOBB United) is an international group of more than 132,000 concerned mothers of Black boys and men. We are shocked and outraged by the decision to reinstate Officer Jeronimo Yanez to the St. Anthony Police Department and request that you step in and enforce the reversal of this reinstatement immediately!

In re-instating Office Yanez, the city of St. Anthony displays a lack of accountability, lack of compassion for the Castile family, and lack of concern for our sons. In consideration of this and following his abhorrent and irresponsible actions, we demand Officer Yanez be removed from the force.

Though our members come from various races and demographics, from coast to coast in the United States and beyond. We are all well aware of the apparent racial profiling in the Minneapolis-St. Paul metropolitan area. In an area where only 7 percent of your residents are Black, nearly half of the St. Anthony police department’s arrests in the first half of 2016 were of Black people. Your choice to ignore the facts and allow this incompetent officer to come back to work, without consequence, is as destructive to the community as the actual killing of Mr. Castile.

Mayor Faust, in your defense of Officer Yanez’s character, do YOU also defend his actions that led to the death of an innocent man on July 7, 2016? Do you defend the apparent racial profiling by YOUR department? We, the Moms of Black Boys United, implore YOU, Mayor Faust, to take the necessary steps to ensure accountability for the senseless death of one of YOUR citizens. The public trust has been broken, and there is no accountability for the actions that led to the reinstatement of Officer Yanez. This is disloyal to the community you swore to protect and serve.

Thank you in advance for your prompt and thoughtful attention to this extraordinarily serious and urgent matter.

Sincerely,
A Mom

About MOMS OF BLACK BOYS UNITED: M.O.B.B. United is a nationwide coalition of mothers working together to make the world a safer place for our sons. It started as a Facebook Group on July 7,2016, as a space for mothers of Black sons to share their concerns and fears and propose solutions to the challenges their sons face. Over the past month, the group has grown rapidly from 30 members to more than 132,000 and has developed into an organization. These moms are united in the goal of preventing and prosecuting the harassment and use of deadly force against Black men and boys.

Colin Kaepernick, quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers, recently took a stand against racial and social injustice by giving voice to victims of police brutality and remaining seated during the playing of The Star-Spangled Banner. He has since been on the receiving end of disapproval and praise from law enforcers, soldiers, entertainers, politicians, journalists and citizens.

Moms of Black Boys (MOBB) United stands with Colin Kaepernick! We are a diverse group of nearly 140,000 members who have been saddened and angered by the leaders in politics and law enforcement who are using Kaepernick’s stance as a distraction from the real issue – law enforcement accountability for unwarranted acts of violence committed against Black citizens.

According to Mapping Police Violence, Blacks are three times more likely to be killed in an encounter with the police; compared to their white counterparts. And yet, only three percent of officers in these cases are held accountable. Instead of being responsive to the statistics which demonstrate a need for change, some law enforcement leaders are blaming Kaepernick for contributing to a growing climate of mistrust between law enforcement and people of color. MOBB United believes that his actions merely shine a spotlight on an issue that has persisted for far too long.

As a result of the lack of accountability in law enforcement, Kaepernick grew disenchanted by The Star-Spangled Banner–a song he believed, along with many others, represented individual freedom and liberty. An interesting fact that continues to be ignored (much like the existence of police misconduct), is the verse in this song that torments [mocks] Black slaves who dared to fight for their individual liberties. The grievances against Kaepernick’s stance strike a very similar tone.
MOBB United stands with Kaepernick and all other individuals of influence who continue to keep this issue in the spotlight. We stand with individual citizens who continue to support police accountability and the ideals of individual liberty in the U.S. Constitution.

Who: MOBB United is a movement and organization that started as a Facebook group founded by Depelsha McGruder on July 7th, as a space for her and 30 of her friends to share concerns, fears and propose solutions to the challenges their son’s face. Today, less than two months later, the Facebook group has grown to over 138,000 members and has developed into an organization. These moms, representing every race, age, socioeconomic background, marital status and education level, are united in the goal of preventing and prosecuting the harassment and unwarranted use of deadly force against Black boys and men.
#ThankYouKAP #MOBBUnited

Welcome to MOBB Musings. Here, I will share updates on the latest happenings in MOBB United and personal thoughts on the fun, complicated journey of what it’s like to be a mom of a Black son. With permission, I may also share personal stories that I hear about in my private online community of more than 135,000 moms. I hope you will find it informative, enriching and inspiring. Thanks for visiting our site! Please follow us on Twitter and Instagram @mobbunited.

 
Depelsha (Founder of M.O.B.B. United)

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