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Driving while Black

Posted By Tiffany A. Bargeman, Tuesday, December 31, 2019
Updated: Tuesday, October 24, 2017
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Tag Connor, you're it!

Posted By Tiffany A. Bargeman, Tuesday, December 31, 2019
Updated: Monday, May 28, 2018

By Rebecca Palermo

Rebecca Palermo

     Story here.

Connor

Connor

Connor

Connor

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     Sometimes, our sons are presented with extraordinary opportunities, and we ought to shout it to the world! Our princes are doing BIG THINGS! How is your son shining his light? If you have a *Content story idea, please share with by commenting in the Gifted Sons post on Facebook, or send an email to justtiff@mobbunited.org so we can feature him in our MOBB United for Social Change (MUSC)/MOBB United Messenger publication. Didn't know we had one? Visit www.mobbunited.org today to learn more about the organization. You’ll find the latest Messenger publication under the Community menu. We're waaaaaay bigger than the private Facebook group!

*Content topics include: Image campaigns to change perception of Black boys and men (photo, video, books, theatre, etc.) Educational seminars for members and the community at large (13th, Bullying, Legal Equalizer, Know Your Rights, Trauma, isow.com, Vision Board session, etc.) Forums and panel discussions Quarterly or monthly image campaigns Driven by Communications Committee Monthly virtual seminars with guest speakers Driven by Education and Engagement Committee in coordination with other committees for content and speaker ideas

Tags:  Amanda  Author  Book  brand  Connor  Littlejohn  Palermo  Rebecca  Series  Tag  Zombie 

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2018 Graduates and Prom Photos

Posted By Tiffany A. Bargeman, Sunday, July 15, 2018
Updated: Thursday, May 17, 2018

By C.K. LeDaniel

Enjoy these awesome photos!

This post has not been tagged.

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Brothers!

Posted By Tiffany A. Bargeman, Friday, April 20, 2018
Updated: Sunday, March 25, 2018

By C.K. LeDaniel

Brothers are the best brothers! They are nurturing, protective, loving and fun! Here is some inspiration from an abolitionist poem: Am I not a man and brother; Ought I not, then, to be free? Enjoy these awesome photos.

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Tags:  Black sons  content  gifted  gifts  image  intelligent  legacy  love  perception  positive  smart  talent  talented  worthy 

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Donovan’s Story: 14-Year-Old Father of Twins Defying the Odds

Posted By Tiffany A. Bargeman, Friday, April 20, 2018
Updated: Tuesday, March 27, 2018

By Rebecca Palermo

Rebecca Palermo

     Michelle Carter’s voice fills with pride when she talks about her 15 year-old son, Donovan. “He’s incredibly mature and responsible. He doesn’t see himself as doing something remarkable—to him, he’s just doing what he’s supposed to do,” said the proud mom, who is a member of the Moms of Black Boys United, Inc. Private Facebook group. Donovan is the father of twin toddler girls, named London and Paris, and he won custody of his daughters so that he could take responsibility for them, take care of them, and raise them in the supportive, loving, and conscientious way that he was raised.

     A typical day in Donovan’s life is packed with responsibility and challenges. He wakes up early in the morning to get the girls ready for their day and to get himself ready for school. His stepmother comes by the house to take the girls while Donovan heads to school. He’s a good student who is engaged by his classes and teachers. He takes school seriously and even plays on the school football team. After school and any extracurricular activities are finished, Donovan heads home to parent his two daughters, doing everything from playing with them to feeding them dinner, bathing them, and putting them to bed. His proud mom works the third shift, and while she’s at home to support him after school, Donovan is self-motivated and takes charge of parenting his girls on his own.

     Donovan admits that at first, he was overwhelmed by the responsibility of taking care of his daughters, especially when they were infants. But he went to see them everyday in the NICU, learned to care for them.When he saw that their mother was in a challenging situation, he decided that his home, with the support of his mother and his stepmother, would be the best, most stable environment for them. When the judge granted him custody of his girls, he stated that he was proud of the man, and the father, that Donovan was becoming.

     His teachers and his coaches agree. He continues to do well in school, and his teachers know about his situation and are heartened by the fact that he is committed to his education while raising two daughters at a young age. He recently signed up for vocational school, and will begin to pursue a career in the culinary arts, for which he has always had an interest and an aptitude.

     Donovan still makes time for his friends and for being a teenager. When the girls’ mother has them for the weekend, he’ll go over to his friends’ houses and enjoy being a kid. But when he’s on the clock as a parent and a student, his incredible maturity and resolve shines through. Michelle believes that even though he knows that he’s made mistakes in his past, he has taken full responsibility for them, and has a natural inclination to do the right thing. In turn, he’s been rewarded with two loving, playful, happy daughters who are being raised by a committed father.

Donovan and Twins

Donovan and Twins

Donovan and Twins

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     Sometimes, our sons are presented with extraordinary opportunities, and we ought to shout it to the world! Our princes are doing BIG THINGS! How is your son shining his light? If you have a *Content story idea, please share with by commenting in the Gifted Sons post on Facebook, or send an email to justtiff@mobbunited.org so we can feature him in our MOBB United for Social Change (MUSC)/MOBB United Messenger publication. Didn't know we had one? Visit www.mobbunited.org today to learn more about the organization. You’ll find the latest Messenger publication under the Community menu. We're waaaaaay bigger than the private Facebook group!

*Content topics include: Image campaigns to change perception of Black boys and men (photo, video, books, theatre, etc.) Educational seminars for members and the community at large (13th, Bullying, Legal Equalizer, Know Your Rights, Trauma, isow.com, Vision Board session, etc.) Forums and panel discussions Quarterly or monthly image campaigns Driven by Communications Committee Monthly virtual seminars with guest speakers Driven by Education and Engagement Committee in coordination with other committees for content and speaker ideas

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Tags:  defying the odds  Donovan  father  mature  Michelle Carter  NICU  responsibility  responsible  twins 

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Passover to Freedom

Posted By Tiffany A. Bargeman, Friday, April 20, 2018
Updated: Tuesday, March 27, 2018

By C. K. LeDaniel

C. K. LeDaniel     “Go Down, Moses” is commonly known as a “Negro Spiritual”, although it may have earlier origins as a rallying song for escaped slaves who joined Union forces in the Civil War. It is also reported to be a code song for slaves traveling the Underground Railroad out of Maryland. If you are familiar with this song, you may know more about Passover than you think you do. Here are some of the lyrics:

        When Israel was in Egypt's land
        Let my people go
        Oppress'd so hard they could not stand
        Let my people go

        Refrain:
        Go down, Moses
        Way down in Egypt's land
        Tell old Pharaoh
        Let my people go

     This song is the story of Passover, which is told annually as part of a ritualized holiday celebration. It is a story of liberation from slavery and retelling it on two consecutive nights every year is part of the Jewish tradition of never forgetting—and thereby never repeating.
 
     It also is a story of righteous women, like ourselves! The Talmud says that, “In the spirit of the righteous women our ancestors were redeemed from Egypt.”  Who were these women? There were two midwives, Shifra and Puah, who were commanded by the Pharaoh to kill all male sons born to Jewish women. But the midwives defied the Pharaoh, claiming Jewish women delivered too quickly for them to attend the births. The civil disobedience of Shifra and Puah allowed for Moses to be born. Moses’s mother, Yocheved, in an effort to save his life, sent him down the river in a basket, entrusting him to God. Pharaoh’s daughter, Batya, found the baby Moses and rescued him. His sister, Miriam, who was waiting in the reeds by the river, persuaded Batya to allow her mother to nurse and raise him in the palace, without Batya ever knowing of Yocheved’s true identity. Thus these five women allowed for Moses to be born, to grow, and ultimately, to lead his people to freedom.

Passover to Freedom

     Another Jewish tradition is asking questions and engaging in discussion around the story of Passover. As my own consciousness has been increasingly awakened to the modern day slavery that is mass incarceration and how it impacts our Black sons, I have brought this issue to our Seder table. What is mass incarceration? Mass incarceration is a for profit prison industrial complex that has overwhelmingly targeted Black men. It is racial profiling by law enforcement officers inside and outside of our schools. It is so called “law and order” policies systematically designed to target and harshly sentence our sons. It is a legal system with biased District Attorneys protected from bias litigation. It is the pressure on innocent people without proper representation to enter into plea deals to avoid draconian mandatory sentences. It is cash bail that forces innocent poor people to languish in prison and be derailed from their educations and careers and families. It is correctional supervision that denies civil rights. It is free, or virtually free, prison labor. It is the 13th amendment, which states that, “Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as punishment for a crime...shall exist within the United States.” If we are to say never again at my family Seder, we must say it for all of us.
 
     Many people share at their Seders the words of Rabbi Hillel, an important Jewish leader from 2000 years ago:  "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I? And if not now, when?”
 
     My fellow mom, Crys Baldwin—one of MOBB United's passionate volunteers—has been known to use a paraphrase of this quote to rally us to action. Passover is a fitting time to remind us all of why we righteous women are here: to help lead our sons out of the current iteration of slavery, because if not us, then who, and if not now, when

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Tags:  Black  C K LeDaniel  Crys Baldwin  freedom  go down Moses  injustice  Jewish  Mass incarceration  negro spiritual  Passover  racism  school-to-prison pipeline  seders  slavery 

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Facebook Re-Post: Black Son Speaks out against Racial Profiling

Posted By Tiffany A. Bargeman, Saturday, February 10, 2018
Updated: Sunday, February 11, 2018

By Tiffany Bargeman

     Not everyone understands the plight of Black boys and men in America, much less the plight of moms of Black boys, but it's nice to know that our sons themselves do understand. Mom Desiree Robinson is happy to share her 15 year-old's perspective. Mack Walker's article, titled “To the White Lady Who Racially Profiled Me in My Neighborhood”, was published in the VOX ATL online publication. Mack is credited as VOX’s audio editor, who “serves on the VOX Board of Directors and is an amazing person, if you take the time to get to know him."

Mack Walker
15-year-old Mack Walker Speaks Out

     Moms of Black Boys United, Inc. and MOBB United for Social Change, Inc. (MUSC) are sure you will be amazed as you read these eloquent expressions and will appreciate Mack’s words as much as we do.

Facebook Re-Post

*The following post was shared originally in the Moms of Black Boys United, Inc. private Facebook group, and mom Desiree Robinson gave us permission to share it publicly. If you are a mom of a Black son and member of that group, you can read the original post and comments.

Desiree Robinson's Facebook post

Desiree Robinson shares FB post

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Tags:  Atlanta  Desiree  Mack Walker  neighborhood  North Atlanta High School  Racial profiling  Robinson  VOX ATL  white neighbor 

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Gifted Sons Photo Feature

Posted By Tiffany A. Bargeman, Saturday, February 10, 2018
Updated: Saturday, February 10, 2018

By C.K. LeDaniel

 
     Our princes are gifted and talented! Members of the Moms of Black Boys United, Inc. private Facebook group share photos with us so we can share their joy and pride with you. Enjoy this gifted sons photo feature!

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Tags:  art  artistic  ballet  Black son  dance  draw  football  gifted  gifted sons  gifts  hobbies  intelligent  music  musical  perform  performance  smart  sports  talent  talented  talents 

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Aspiring with Asperger's: A Black Son's Journey into Professional Video Gaming

Posted By Tiffany A. Bargeman, Saturday, February 10, 2018
Updated: Saturday, February 10, 2018

By Tiffany Bargeman

 

     Moms, if your 18-year-old Black son came to you and said, “I want to be a professional video gamer,” what would your reaction be? Close your eyes for 5 seconds, and imagine that scenario. If you put yourself in Aundrea Caldwell’s shoes, you might think, ‘WHAT THE...?! Boy bye!’ or something like that. But, there’s a twist here. What if your son also has Asperger’s Syndrome, a disorder on the autism spectrum, and has been playing video games as a way of coping with his challenges since he was 2 ½ years old? Then what would your reaction be? Aha...


     Well, I have to say, speaking with Aundrea made my face hurt from the grin I wore just about the entire time she talked about her son, Cameron, who is a first-year college student. Listening to her speak with such pride made me so happy. I wanted to cry at one point because I certainly can relate to this mom’s joy as she witnesses her son blossoming into a young man who already knows what he wants to do with his life. He has decided—with confidence—that he’s going to be a professional gamer. Cameron has the right person in his corner, too. Aundrea, who is originally from Dallas, TX, and also has two daughters, has been advocating for her son since the moment she realized there was something special about him.

     “I always knew something was different but couldn't put my finger on what it was,” she explained, as she recalled the moments she was perceiving this difference. His kindergarten teacher brought it to her attention that she believed he was demonstrating autistic behaviors, which helped confirm mom's concerns. When Aundrea shared her concerns with Cameron's other teachers as he got older, they didn't believe her and assumed he had behavior problems. It was not uncommon for her to find him off in a corner by himself on some days when she picked him up from school. Aundrea talked with me about some of the behaviors that Cameron exhibits that are due to Asperger's, including some social delays and heightened sensitivities that are common among young kids on the autism spectrum. Cameron doesn't like wearing new shoes, for example, and going outside creates a level of  anxiety for him that it wouldn’t create for other kids. “Interpreting social cues is difficult [for him],” she added.

     We shifted gears to discuss Aundrea’s concerns about her son getting older and becoming more independent. For now, she’s addressing the issue at hand, which is the fact that her son will soon be driving around in the community by himself. Cameron just got his learner’s permit, and yes, mom has had the tough conversations with him about possibly experiencing undue prejudice as a Black man in America. One of the scariest thoughts she has, like many other moms of Black sons, is about him encountering law enforcement while out driving alone. So she has told him to, “keep his hands on 10 and 2, and call me. Put me on speaker,” if he is pulled over by an officer. Aundrea took proactive measures to visit their local police department with Cameron in tow, to introduce him to the chief of police. (I don’t know about you, but I’ve wanted to do this for my own son, who doesn’t have Asperger's Syndrome but is simply Black. I can relate to the fear moms of Black sons have of what could happen to them in this racially charged American climate.) She explained to the chief that Cameron has Asperger’s and asked that he encourage his officers to have a level of patience when dealing with people like her son during traffic stops, as they may not process commands like the average driver.

     Aundrea's advocacy efforts are paying off, as she gets to watch Cameron come into his own, reaching milestones like his recent graduation from high school in Fremont, CA. She teared up when she told me that the school didn't acknowledge his successes, so she took it upon herself to treat her son to a trip to Europe in celebration of all he’d achieved. They visited Paris, Nice, Monaco, and London. He played a “Street Fighter II” video game in Amsterdam and was fascinated by the old game.
     Now, this proud mom has given us a glimpse inside their recent weekend trip to a video gaming competition called “The Genesis 5” in Oakland, CA. It was a weekend full of excitement, to say the least, for “Darkblade”, Cameron’s gamer tag, as well as for his mom and two younger sisters.

     You'll enjoy listening to this interview with Aundrea before the video game competition, as well as this interview with Cameron after the competition. He asked mom to get him a Mountain Dew before our interview so he could be pumped! Cameron told me from his own perspective what it’s like dealing with Asperger’s, and he shared his feelings about college and plans for professional gaming. He even offered some advice for parents of kids with autism. You may have to wipe a few tears of awe. 

     It was nice to read the many encouraging responses to Aundrea's posts sharing their experience with this community of moms, shared here with her permission. Thousands of understanding moms, some of whom also have special needs Black sons, became an impromptu cheerleading team for Cameron. Aundrea didn't even know that Moms of Black Boys United, Inc. is almost 200,000 women strong and said she was overwhelmed by the back-to-back notifications on her phone as the support and encouragement kept rolling in. Aundrea said she often has felt isolated over the past 15 years, like she was the only Black woman raising children with autism. She's grateful for the outpouring of support from our online community of moms.

     The journey before and after Cameron’s diagnosis at 9 years old came with continued challenges, not only for him, but for her as well—in her interactions with his teachers throughout his elementary, middle school and high school years, as well as in her personal relationships with loved ones. She has had to make some hard decisions as she made adjustments in her parenting. She was determined to do what was best for her son and for her other children; one of her daughters also is on the autistic spectrum. Aundrea is writing a book titled, Wait! Did you say Autistic? A Mother’s Journey of Acceptance and Advocacy, about their autism journey, will will be released this Spring. She wants to educate others on the facts of the social disorder. She wants people to understand that all little Black boys do not have behavior problems and that there are ways to guide them to success. “They can thrive,” she exclaimed. “When you know in your heart that...God gave you this child, and there are no second chances, you have to do this thing right. I encourage moms to continue to advocate. I don’t care who you’ve gotta cuss out, and fuss at, remove out of your life; there are no other options. It’s non-negotiable.” Aundrea hopesto start a non-profit later this year that focuses on leveraging technology to support Autistic Spectrum Disorders (ASD) children.

     We're so proud of Cameron Caldwell. We are also proud of Aundrea and the many other moms like her who advocate tirelessly for their Black sons. It’s all about them.

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Tags:  Amsterdam  Asperger's  Aundrea  Autism  CA  Caldwell  Cameron  Darkblade  Europe  game  gamer  Oakland  Video Gaming 

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Mentoring Matters: Three Families’ Stories of Personal, Academic, and Professional Growth

Posted By Tiffany A. Bargeman, Saturday, February 10, 2018
Updated: Sunday, February 11, 2018

By Rebecca Palermo

Rebecca Palermo

     Encouraging our Black sons to shine is incredibly important to many members of the Moms of Black Boys United, Inc. Facebook group. We hear countless stories of young Black boys and men defining their ambitions, chasing their dreams, and exceeding their goals. In many of our sons’ lives, mentors play a positive and impactful role, inspiring their mentees to carve out a future that is fulfilling and allows them to make their mark on the world.

     Maria Thrasher, a mom of twins, recently relayed the story of her son’s experience with a local mentoring program organized by 100 Black Men of Greater Charlotte, NC. When she moved her family to the Charlotte area, her children were entering middle school, and the family did not have the strong network of support they had previously enjoyed in their hometown of Columbus, OH. A single mother, Maria felt that her son could benefit from the influence of a positive male role model.

     When her son, Austin, interviewed with Brian Willis, the organization’s outgoing president, Brian  was so impressed with the middle-schooler that he personally requested to be Austin’s mentor himself. In the years since, Austin, who will turn 16 years-old this February, thrived under Brian’s mentorship. Maria reported, “In the last four years, Brian has been present at every school event, every important moment, and has made himself available to talk any time that Austin has needed him.” Brian’s family has developed a close relationship with Maria’s family, and Maria has appreciated the friendship she has built with Brian’s wife, as well as his wife’s influence on her daughter, with whom she shares similar interests.

     The overall mentorship program hosts a Saturday Academy, during which mentors tackle different topics relevant to the boys involved in the program, including the series of shootings of Black boys and men by police throughout 2015 and 2016. According to Maria, they confronted the issues head-on, having candid conversations about the dangers Black boys and men face, and talking about the ways that Black boys and men should handle confrontations with police officers and begin to develop a trusted partnership with Mecklenburg County Police.

     They also take trips, allow mentors and mentees to spend time with other mentors and mentees in the program, and host a cookout each summer that offers experiences for bonding and recreation. The group participates in community service projects together, modeling kindness, generosity, and civic leadership. The boys also are exposed to men who are professionals in a variety of fields, from doctors and attorneys to the local police chief, athletes, financial planners, engineers, and CEOs.
 
     Maria says that Austin would call Brian a father, a brother, an uncle, a motivator, a wise councilor, a teacher, and his biggest champion. She views the program as invaluable, giving her son a sense of self-assurance while simultaneously holding him accountable and maintaining high expectations of him and the other boys in the program.

Jasyme Tolber and her twin brother, Austin Tolber, Jr.
Jasyme Tolber and her twin brother, Austin Tolber, Jr.

Maria poses with her twins, Jasmyne and Austin, Jr.
Maria poses with her twins, Jasmyne and Austin, Jr.

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     Several hours across the same state of North Carolina, in the town of Kinston, Kristal Suggs lives with her remarkable son, Chris. When Chris was 14 years old, he was processing onslaught of nightly news reporting on local youth violence and shootings. Determined to change perceptions of Kinston’s youth population, Chris founded Kinston Teens, a youth mentoring program which serves elementary school kids throughout the year, plus a summer mentoring program that is the cornerstone of the organization’s work.

     Chris enlisted teens to mentor these younger kids, giving the teenagers a sense of accomplishment and the fulfillment that comes along with being a role model, and allowing the grade school children the opportunity to talk, play, and find companionship with older kids who could relate to their worries, dreams, and questions about the future. During the summer program, the mentors and their mentees participate in building vision boards, doing team building exercises, and sharing experiences that have challenged them, soliciting feedback in order to grow and develop creative solutions to problems in the future.

     Chris also launched the Black Youth Network, which brings together young Black leaders from a variety of communities to share ideas, inspire one another, and convene both online and in person. These young leaders attended last summer’s Summer Youth Program, allowing kids from a number of states to participate in leadership and team building exercises.
 
     If leading these two organizations wasn’t enough for a high school student to manage, Chris also graduated high school in 3 years and is currently in his first year as a student at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. He has arranged for a youth leadership council to run the program, though he remains involved, as he feels a strong sense of dedication to his small town and the kids who live there. For more information about Chris’ work, visit www.chrisjsuggs.com.

Chris J. Suggs spends time with the young people of Kinston, NC, as a part of his local mentorship program.
Chris J. Suggs spends time with the young people of Kinston, NC, as a part of his local mentorship program.

Chris Suggs
Chris J. Suggs, pictured with Nickelodeon Halo Awards 2016 host Nick Cannon, is honored for his tremendous work at the awards ceremony.

     Our sons aren’t the only ones getting involved in mentoring programs in their areas. A Cleveland-area mom reported to us that her husband started his own mentoring program in 2012, when he saw a need for children in his community to develop relationships with Black men who would become positive male role models for boys starting as young as middle school age and even serves young men up to 22 years of age.

     The program aims to expose kids to men of differing educational backgrounds and professional expertise, to help them understand the possibilities that are available to them as they grow up. The mentors and mentees hold weekly meetings, which invite open conversation and the sharing of concerns and ideas. It is this Cleveland father’s belief that a simple conversation can change someone’s path in life, and he says that the mentors find it fulfilling to see the kids they mentor grow, both personally and academically.

     Since many of the kids in this program come from working parent homes in which they must often be “the man of the house”, the program offers them the chance to be kids and to lean on their mentors for advice and guidance as they navigate the world in which they are growing up.
 
     Moms of Black Boys United, Inc. is incredibly proud of these sons, fathers, and moms for creating opportunities for our boys to thrive and become young men with dreams and ambitions both diverse and fulfilling. As our sons become tomorrow’s leaders, we’re sure that they will carry their mentorship experiences with them, eventually giving back to the younger generation.

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Tags:  100 Black Men  Academic  Austin  Black Youth Network  Brian  Chris  chrisjsuggs  Columbus  families  Greater Charlotte  Growth  Jasyme  Maria Thrasher  Mecklenburg County Police  Mentoring  Nick Cannon  Nickelodeon Halo Awards  OH  Ohio  Personal  Professional  Rebecca Palermo  role model  Suggs  Summer Youth Program  Thrasher-Tolber  Tolber  twins  Willis 

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Moms of Black Boys United - Ensuring that our SUNs Survive and Thrive
 
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